Today, My little boy is poorly.You can tell when he is ill cos he isnt his normal bouncy self. You realise when they are ill just how little and fragile they really are. being a father is the hardest job in the world, but at the same time is THE MOST rewarding thing you can ever do. My two are four (Abigail ) and two (Nathan). At the moment I'm finding it hard with Abi, She is fighting to have my attention. Nathan being the youngest gets alot of attention, and Abi missing out. For example, When I take them to the park i have to keep my eyes on Nathan. Abi will shout across from the other side of the park trying to get me to play with her... and i cant. It breaks my heart everytime, cos i know how rejected she is. I dont what to fail her. I do make time for her, I try to make time for them all. but working a 10 hour day, getting up at 4.30am, trying to spend time with Nathan, and laura (my partner) and then Abi, sometimes something has to give. Abi acts like a baby sometimes cos she know its a way to get my attention, but she ends up doing thing naughty thing and getting told off for it. I want her to be herself and not someone who is trying to please me. Sometimes i wondering if i can make it as a good father, I try, believe me i do. But there isnt a guide book on this. kids dont come with a manual. You can watch all these progs like little angels, house of tiny tearaways, But its not all sorted in a week.

If there are any parents out that share my fears, or know what im going about. Please drop me a coment or email me on stuartpearson@hotmail.co.uk

sleep well everyone